Does She Exist!!

Does she exist
For me out there
My heart grows tiresome in purgatory
Never knowing is this my heaven or hell
So much to live for but hurting corrodes the heart
Empty tears.. for who am I crying?
Scared among the thorns crucified to bleeding walls
Scars amongst the dead live in my heart seeking escape
Will the love evaporate the unlicensed boy that seeks
Will the seeking prove worthy in the end
Afraid to live
Afraid to die
Afraid to love
Afraid to live and die unknowing love